A fail.

I failed an induction course for my job. I think I got to know the result in September. It took me many months to accept it and just calm down. This is because I believed I put in a lot of effort in it, and also because all my friends passed it. I did mention to some that I failed and they kept on saying things along the line of ‘What? That can’t be true. It was too easy.’ So I stopped talking about it. Many months passed and now I finally have the courage to re-apply (re-applying equals almost everyone in the school knowing that I failed something ‘so easy’). So this morning I went to get a signature from a superior for the re-application form. He was surprised that I failed. Somehow I uttered ‘Someone told me it’s statistics, i.e. someone has to fail.’ And he replied, ‘Hmm.. Really?’

:(

So you had a bad day...

We were having a summative test for Functions (a chapter in Additional Maths). Since I couldn't get the test sheet to be copied so that everyone would have a copy (because only one person can operate the machine and when I got the test prepared, the person had gone for breakfast), I had to write the questions on the board and ask the students to just write their answers and working, because if they were to copy the questions, there wouldn't be enough time to answer all of them.

So, I was writing on the board. Then I felt like turning to face the students. So I faced them. And I saw the horror looks on their faces, just staring at the whiteboard. Then the song 'Bad Day' started playing in my head. Sigh. Poor kids.

Poor me.

Some students blame me for their bad marks. Which feels very weird for me, considering that I was also a form 4 student once, and I did get some below 40% marks here and there, but never once had it occurred to me, 'Hey, its not my fault! Its my teacher's fault! She's a bad teacher!!!' or to tell my teacher, matter-of-factly, 'Actually, you are not a good teacher for us.'

Students, like how some people choose to describe why we have the species of organisms we currently have, have also evolved with time.

I love making lists. I make lists all the time.

So many months have passed since I felt an urge this strong to write. I think I'll start writing regularly again for my own good.

People have hobbies so that they can do something to keep them from doing something else. Something else which could be something that's evil. Or something they know they'll regret.

I love making lists. I make lists all the time.

About a month ago I even made a list of things I could do to win a particular person's heart. I really wanted the person to like me. Haha. Just thinking about it now makes me feel like rofl. Oh well. Sometimes we can plan all we want but when it comes to implementation... So many errors might occur. It didn't work out because although I really wanted to have a healthy relationship with the people around me, deep down inside I just couldn't care less if people hated me for just being myself (so I do have a healthy level of self confidence!). When people hate you, it wouldn't matter if you make believe that you're the sole person at fault and apologise, people still hate you. So, back to the story, I found myself faking cheeryness so that people would actually respond to me. O.m.g. things like this makes me feel like a social retard.

Anyway, its been more than 100 days since I started working and I still haven't received my pay. I wonder if this is one of the reasons why I have problem remembering my clients' names. I didn't have this problem during practical. It was effortless. Maybe its because I felt more 'loved' by my clients during practical. Now I just feel like a 'real worker' who's not going anywhere so whatever. I even live with my clients for goodness sake. I don't feel 'loved', in fact, at least one client does something which I feel is disrespectful towards me, at least once in two days. I'm not sure if I should lower my bench mark or make it higher.

The important thing is, I have a great boss. I wish I could praise him upfront instead of just writing about it here. Maybe one day I'll muster enough confidence and tell him how much I appreciate that he's my boss and not anyone else because some days just a nod from him deletes an image of myself drowning in a swamp and replaces it with dancing with lolz catz. I have a great boss and this helps in making it all worthwhile.

:)

Yeay!

"Physics is Paris."

J: What do you understand if someone says, 'Physics is Paris'?
Me: Ummm... Physics is not that hard, even Paris Hilton can understand some physics?
J: Actually it means that physics is beautiful. Paris (in France, not the girl) is beautiful. So Physics is Paris.
Me: Oh...

It's the start of our third week of practicum today. Time sure flies when you're having fun huh?

Today I felt it. I felt the 'Physics is Paris' my friend talked about 2 weeks ago. The feeling I feel when I teach physics is different from when I teach other subjects. It's not that I tak beriya or anything when I teach other subjects, no. Of course all of the students I teach, regardless the subject, are really, really good students. Fun to teach = good students. I love students who make me laugh all the time. Really make my day.

Maybe it's because teaching physics brings all the familiar feelings I felt when I was in university. All the running to lectures because I loved my lecturers' lectures, all the staying up to meet deadlines that seemed impossible... And most importantly all the 'extra-curricular activities' I was a part of in all those three happy years, that I have nothing to do with now (tsk.. tsk.. ).

Somehow, I managed.

This is a welcome note (^ . ^)

We're already in the new year 1430 H and it'll be 2009 soon. I was doing my homework and I thought it would be very interesting to read blogs written by teachers, documenting their personal teaching techniques and experiences.

So, as I've only managed to find one from my googling effort, I've decided to start my own. I'm not a teacher yet (I still have a few months to work on my teaching diploma) but that's not a problem. I'm sure I've lots to share anyway.